Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist JacobMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Months
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 293 Deviations 3,417 Comments 6,265 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Everything Is Alright :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 10 What's in My Inbox? :iconcohensander:CohenSander 2 1 New Pageviews 2 :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 0 My Favorite Corner in the Living Room :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 0
Literature
A Series of Strange Events - Entry 1
Day 1: So I got up this morning, had some coffee, went out to get my paper, weird thing this; there was no mail in my mailbox. It isn't Sunday, it's Tuesday. Odd. I got dressed and headed to work. I was almost late. Came home, watched TV and ate. Read some in bed before I called it a night.
Day 2: Things are okay. Not very different from yesterday. Strange thing, before I left for work; each TV station's stuck on an emergency testing screen. It was like this on 6 or 7 channels. I came home today, and the same ol' thing. I couldn't watch my favorite shows on TV, so I went for a walk today. I even got to chat with some folks at an uptown cafe.
Day 3: Now things are getting quite strange. My boss called first thing this morning saying the power went out at our company building due to a construction incident nearby, and to just stay home. So I make what of it, get some coffee, go grab my paper. Now when I unwound the blinds on my back-view windows I noticed something well out of the ordina
:iconCohenSander:CohenSander
:iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 0
Mature content
Dunno What This Is... :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 1
My First Car... :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 8 Why Is Everything So F*cking Hard For Me?! :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 1 I WANT A HUG! :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 2 Nuka-World Mayor outfit :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 0
Mature content
The Mink and The Cartoonist :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 0
YOU WILL WEAR YOUR INDEPENDENCE LIKE A CROWN!!! :iconcohensander:CohenSander 3 1
Mature content
Meme - Make Transylvania :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 4
Mature content
Fan Re-Write - Song - Another Love Song :iconcohensander:CohenSander 0 0
To My Haters :iconcohensander:CohenSander 1 0 Who IS FlippyKrueger?! :iconcohensander:CohenSander 2 0

Favourites

Mature content
The Lovely Zone-tan :icontheunusualgoth:TheUnusualGoth 3 1
pumpkin girl :iconclownprincecandygore:clownprincecandygore 17 4 [Request] Pardon me. Ugly Guy coming through. :iconeagc7:eagc7 57 42 ''It's SPRING-TIME!'' :iconkosperry:Kosperry 878 74
Mature content
That squirrel :iconemilybandicoot1234:EmilyBandicoot1234 7 5
Freakshow :icongrimmskullthemad:GrimmSkulltheMad 5 0
Mature content
Creeper-Wise :iconirishimo:irishimo 16 3
WWDITS Deacon and Petyr Dakimakura :iconirishimo:irishimo 15 2 WWDITS Deacon and Petyr Dakimakura :iconirishimo:irishimo 14 0 Rawr :iconirishimo:irishimo 11 0 Bubbles :iconmixielion:Mixielion 8 1 Animated Atrocities: I Only Have Surprise for You :icontrefrex:TrefRex 12 21
Mature content
Goldie (Com) :iconcaractacus-seagoon:Caractacus-Seagoon 29 13
Literature
Dead Rising Psychopath Idea: 25
Name: Marco Ives 
Mission: The Toymaker 
Weapon: Freedom Bear, Acid Toy
Story: Marco ran the toy store in the Willamette mall, and as such, he used to be a very kind-hearted man, who would always look forward to meeting new people to give his merchandise to. Unfortunately, when the outbreak started, he found salvation in his toys, and became obsessed with keeping them all to himself, attacking anyone and anything who he even THOUGHT would come to take them while holed up in his store.
Appearance: Marco has freckles, small spectacles, red short hair,white overalls, blue shirt, and red tie. He also has normal small brown shoes.
Encounter: *Frank is walking around, and sees Marco in the toy store, arranging shelves. He walks in*
Frank: Uh.... hello? You need some help?
Marco: Hmm? What do you want? Make it quick.
Frank: Well, uh... pal, there's a zombie outbreak going on, and it's really not safe here. So I was wondering if I could help you out, and then get you to safety.
Marco
:iconKhfan-D98:Khfan-D98
:iconkhfan-d98:Khfan-D98 3 6
perdition :iconwilqkuku:Wilqkuku 85 5 neck :iconwilqkuku:Wilqkuku 60 2

Groups

Activity


Me and my folks are moving... AGAIN!

With today being Saint Patty's, may the luck o' the Irish be with ya. ;)

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
If Roger Thade was a soundboard, he would be called 'The Satanic Misogynist'.

cohensander.deviantart.com/art…

His lines and threats of occult power and discrimination against women would make him a key prank call repeat offender, let alone from the furryverse.

Depiction: He would often be depicted as Dahvie Vanity of the popular techno-rock Gothic band Blood on the Dance Floor, whose explicit sexual lyrics have earned them anything except fame from the feminist community. He at other times would be depicted as an ominous man stalking unweary young women and other creepy male sexist stereotypes.

Quotes:
"Hello??"
"Who the hell is this?!"
"Why the HELL are you calling me?!!"
*long dramatic exhale, hangs up*
"You fuckin'... PUSSY!"
"Let a MAN show you how it's done!"
"You sound like a goddamn WOMAN!!"
"You know what, God'll only cut your dick and balls off and give you a lean set of boobs! That'll be the only thing on you of worth at all!!"
"You really wanna test me motherfucker?!!"
"Asswipe, you're only lucky I don't feel like fuckin' findin' you right now!"
"You wanna come and try to start something with me?!!"
"Oh just wait! Just wait! Tell you what I'll send some black magic up your fuckin' asshole!"
"You'll go down into the ground runnin' like a fucking power drill!"
"I AM THE DEVIL! I AM HERE TO DO THE DEVIL'S WORK!!!"
"Hehehehe."
"You wanna see the Devil? He's comin' ta getcha!"
"YOU called ME!!"
"You sound just like that damn whore I gutted in her sleep last night! She bled like poultry and screamed like the fuckin' BITCH that she was!! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
"Hehehe, is that so..."
"Is THAT what they call you?!"
"I've seen WOMEN who can kick more ass than you! And that's saying a LOT against you motherfucker!"
"I swear to fucking GOD!... No, I swear to my father who art in Hell, you will WISH you were dead when I've gotten a hold of you!"
"Is that you, or the bitch you were unlucky enough to get wedded to??"
*snickers*
"Like I said before, just come to the address I gave you. The Devil will be waiting for you there, with a fist full of dark magic that has YOUR name on it!!"
"Sleep with an open eye. (Because you know what I'm gonna do to the other one; stick a damn needle right in it.)"
*tiredly* "Are you done wasting my time?"
*tiredly* "Call me tomorrow. I'll kill your ass later. G'night."
"You guys are really starting this shit again?"
"Hehe, If you're gonna THREATEN someone, be sure you have the backup plan to actually DO SOMETHING. It's threat class 101, and anyone who doesn't pull through is just a pussy."
"That bitch?! She's a whore just like your mom!"
"Who is the lesser evil here????"
"Bitch, by the time I'm done with you, they're gonna find you in the center of a fucking pentagram, motherfucker."
"Your pussy is bigger than that of a guy I know, Chris Fuzz. I wish you could meet him."
"You know Puss-ass, you remind me a helluva lot of my adoptive father, Agent Kei Fox. *whispers* I HATE my father."
*quiet snickers* "The only thing you FOX-FUCK you probably can't get out of that damn high-chair and WIPE your fat ass, much less BEAT anybody's ass!"
"FAT SLUT!!!"
"STUPID CUNT!!!"
"TITSUCKER!!!"
"You know if I was a woman, I could get away with randomly calling people too. Hell, I could get away with anything!"
"Wait! Hold up... Alright, got your location. Give me about 15 minutes, 3 spare to pickup a beer and I'll be where you're at, Amigo! Just wait, I'll be there with four razor-blades ready to stick right up into your ass."
*breathes awkwardly*
"All witchcraft comes... from carnal lust... which is in women INSATIABLE."
"You know I've had you call me over and over and over a-fucking-gain, but you know what this tells me? That you simply don't have the BALLS to actually come and find me, moherfucker!"
"Yup, until you actually show some damn backbone, you're only making a pussy out of yourself, ya pussy!"
"You fat, sloppy cunt!"
"You sound like a goddamned Arasian!"
"If there's anything I hate more than women it's Arasians; their squinty eyes always looking at me with disrespect!"
"You're a pussy, that's it."
"Even with all the cat chicks in here. you're still the biggest pussy around!"
"You're the biggest pussy in the goddamn whorehouse!"
"Wait, is this a WOMAN?!!" *hangs up immediately*
"Bitch, I know you're a chick; only a chick could be this hypocritical."
The Odyssey is finally here!!

Everything Is Alright
For the first time in a while, I'm not so upset, insecure or unstable because of OCD, Aspergers, bullying from the past or some anthro-manchildren rejecting me. 

I can just live and be free. :) :D

www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_wtzV…
Loading...
:iconfox-mccloud:

If you had just given me a second FUCKING chance!! :furious:

...

:'( ...I would have been proud to call you my father.. Even the Count of Death himself needs someone to stand over him... :crying:
My Favorite Corner in the Living Room
There's nothing special in kind about this art-piece, I just like this particular part of our living room; especially when it's quiet and dark outside. 8-) (Cool) 
Loading...
I just signed up for the Quake beta. Hug me.
I just signed up for the Quake beta. Hug me.
Day 1: So I got up this morning, had some coffee, went out to get my paper, weird thing this; there was no mail in my mailbox. It isn't Sunday, it's Tuesday. Odd. I got dressed and headed to work. I was almost late. Came home, watched TV and ate. Read some in bed before I called it a night.

Day 2: Things are okay. Not very different from yesterday. Strange thing, before I left for work; each TV station's stuck on an emergency testing screen. It was like this on 6 or 7 channels. I came home today, and the same ol' thing. I couldn't watch my favorite shows on TV, so I went for a walk today. I even got to chat with some folks at an uptown cafe.

Day 3: Now things are getting quite strange. My boss called first thing this morning saying the power went out at our company building due to a construction incident nearby, and to just stay home. So I make what of it, get some coffee, go grab my paper. Now when I unwound the blinds on my back-view windows I noticed something well out of the ordinary. A school of birds, all Jays, Swallows, Canaries - they were ALL staring at me. All eyes on me, no doubt. Would you imagine? I stood for a second in awe, then I simply turned back and went to my chair for some daytime programming. About 30 minutes later I go top off and glimpse again out through the back views. This time it's a little bit stranger: A mess of rodents, some o' who don't even look like they belong in a backyard, are gawking at me. From squirrels and house-mice to hamsters and guinea pigs. They're just a-lookin' at ME. I folded back the blinds this time so I could ignore this strange nonsense.

Now I'm done with my coffee and my rerun, I think I'll go take a nap and when I wake up go grab a bite in town. Before I do that I need to be sure of something. I peeked right through my back-blinds one more time. My goodness, my goodness - it cannot get stranger than this: A bunch of bears, some of which probably aren't even meant to be on this side of the country are looking at my windows, probably at me. I mean it, Brown Bears, Black Bears, Mountain Bears and I could've sworn I thought I saw a primate somewhere over there in the back. Looked like what folks call an Orangutan.

I'm locking all my doors and windows and not daring to go back out until I know they're all gone. I'm gonna try to go ahead and get some sleep anyways, since I doubt those uncaged beasts can get in here without a man's hand. I know for certain if I hear even a tap from the outside of this house I'm grabbin' my Bowie Knife and breakin' out through that door. I got ears like a wild cat!
:heart:

Mature Content

JaKob and Sibella Sleeping In Love by CohenSander
That as the son of Lady Malmsteen I would in fact be... The son, lascivious. ;) 

I'm gonna play some Bioshock: Infinite tonight!!

Currently Playing: Bioshock 2 mulitplayer
Am Wearing: My Southern Gothic outfit
Currently Eating: Nothing
Not Giving: A fuck
Me and my folks are moving... AGAIN!

deviantID

CohenSander's Profile Picture
CohenSander
Jacob
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
"Cohen's an artist, says some. He's a Section Eight, says I. I've seen all kinds of cutthroats, freaks, and hard cases in my life, but Cohen, he's a real lunatic, a dyed-in-the-wool psychopath…"
―Atlas

I was once FlippyKrueger, FlippyKrueger2, and finally SkullMaskMan. I initially meant to resign myself entirely from this website.

I decided I changed my mind, and came back.

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE do not thank me for favoriting your work, I favorite anything I see that I take even REMOTE interest in. If I favorite your piece it does not mean you are better or worse than any other artist on this site, it just means I enjoy and respect your talents. :)
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconleesydreamy:
leesydreamy Featured By Owner 22 hours ago
Thanks again for faving.
Reply
:iconthemanwiththehat666:
TheManWithTheHat666 Featured By Owner 2 days ago   General Artist
Thanks for the fav!! :) 
Reply
:iconcosmicmoonshine:
Cosmicmoonshine Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav
Reply
:iconleesydreamy:
leesydreamy Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2017
Thanks again.
Reply
:iconzpecie:
ZPECIE Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fave!!
Reply
:iconredtweny:
RedTweny Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Professional Traditional Artist
T!H!K!S! for having spent some your minutes in my gallery and for the fav...very appreciated !
Reply
:iconcohensander:
CohenSander Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
PLEASE don't mention it! 
Reply
:iconhousespider:
HouseSpider Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  New Deviant
Thanks for the fave on Hisako!
Reply
:iconlatard:
latard Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thx for faving
Reply
:iconcutesia:
Cutesia Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favourite~
Reply
Add a Comment: